I want to begin with a simple observation: In the legal profession, our tools are words, our word is our bond, and our currency is trust.

But the way we wield those tools – the tone we choose, the respect we show, the spirit with which we engage – often determines whether our work builds bridges or burns them.

Civility, professionalism, and collaboration are sometimes dismissed as “soft skills.” But, in reality, they are vital for success. They allow us to get more done, with fewer wasted motions – and with reputations intact.

THE COST OF INCIVILITY

We’ve all seen it. A deposition derailed because counsel couldn’t resist personal jabs. An email chain that became more about point-scoring than problem-solving. A trial where the heat between lawyers overshadowed the merits of the case. The costs are real:

• Time wasted in unnecessary disputes
• Clients harmed because energy is spent on conflict about conflict
• Reputations diminished in the eyes of colleagues and the court

THE POWER OF CIVILITY

Civility is not weakness, and it is not surrender; it is strength under control. When we speak with respect – even when disagreeing fiercely on the law – we signal confidence in our arguments. We reduce distractions for the decision-maker. We show the client they are in capable, steady hands.

Justice Sandra Day O’Connor once said, “We don’t accomplish anything in the world alone and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that create something.”

In my own experience, some of my most successful outcomes came not because I outargued the other side but because we treated each other with enough respect to explore solutions neither of us could have accomplished alone.

PROFESSIONALISM AS A STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE

Professionalism is a strategic advantage. Professionalism is the outward expression of inner discipline. Professionalism is contagious. We’ve all heard several sayings. Perhaps the most recent is “when they go low, we go high.”

Courtrooms run more smoothly when lawyers are prepared, filings are clear, and communications are timely. Judges make better decisions when the issues are sharpened rather than muddied by needless rhetoric.

And let’s be realistic: Judges and opposing counsel remember the professionals they trust. I don’t remember verbatim what someone said to me, but I will certainly remember how they made me feel.

Your reputation precedes you into every hearing, every conference, every negotiation. A track record of civility can open doors in moments when you or your client most needs them.

COLLABORATION

Collaboration doesn’t mean giving up the fight. Collaboration doesn’t mean principles are compromised. It means asking:

• Where can we agree?
• What procedural issues can we stipulate to so the court can focus on the merits?
• Can we solve this part now so we can fight about fewer things later?

By narrowing disputes and sharing common ground early, we make space for creativity and reduce the “unintended consequences” of litigation.

One of the most rewarding cases I worked on ended in settlement terms that both sides’ clients called “livable” – not perfect, but better than the uncertainty of trial. That outcome was possible only because we treated each other as professionals rather than foes.

CONCLUSION

In the end, our profession is not just about winning cases – it’s about upholding the rule of law in a way that preserves its dignity.

Civility keeps us credible. Professionalism keeps us consistent. Collaboration keeps us creative.

We do not weaken our advocacy by being civil – we strengthen it. We do not lose our edge by being professional – we sharpen it. And we do not dilute our principles by collaborating – we advance them.

The law is adversarial by design, but it need not be hostile by default. Let’s choose to be the kind of advocates, and the kind of judges, who prove that the most effective way to win – and to serve justice – is to do so with civility, professionalism, and collaboration.

After all, together we win. Thank you.