Few qualities define a lawyer more than how we treat one another. For decades, the Oklahoma County Bar Association has prided itself on being a collegial bar, an organization where opposing counsel could vigorously advocate their client’s cause during the day and share a handshake or lunch afterward. Yet, in recent years, many of us have noticed a troubling drift toward sharper tones in correspondence, needless discovery skirmishes and a growing willingness to conflate professionalism with weakness. This cultural shift deserves our attention because civility is not a relic of a bygone era but rather the foundation of effective advocacy and public trust.

Civility, properly understood, is not politeness for its own sake. It is a discipline that reflects confidence, preparation and respect for the rule of law. When we speak courteously to the court, return calls promptly or grant reasonable extensions, we are not surrendering ground; we are strengthening the profession. Judges remember who can disagree without being disagreeable. Juries perceive fairness not only in the evidence but in the demeanor of those presenting it. And clients, especially those new to the legal system, learn from our conduct what justice looks like in practice.

Our Supreme Court has long recognized that professionalism is essential to the administration of justice. The OBA Standards for Professionalism Section 1.2 reminds us that “a lawyer’s word should be his or her bond.” Those words may sound quaint to some, but they remain the foundation of a profession that depends on trust. If we cannot rely on one another’s assurances about scheduling, discovery or stipulations, the machinery of litigation grinds to a halt. Every needless motion to compel or last-minute surprise imposes a cost – not just on opposing counsel but on clients and courts alike.

Technology has not helped. The immediacy of email and text communication encourages speed over thought, reaction over reflection. Tone is easily lost when messages are fired off in frustration. What once might have been a courteous phone call is now a terse email chain copied to the world. The solution is not to reject technology but to reassert the human element within it by remembering that on the other end of every message is another lawyer with clients, deadlines and pressures of their own.

As bar leaders, mentors and colleagues, we must take responsibility for reversing this decline. We can start small by modeling civility in discovery disputes, by declining to mirror incivility when we encounter it and by praising professionalism when we see it in others. Younger lawyers, in particular, learn more from our conduct than from any CLE. If they see courtesy rewarded with respect rather than exploited as weakness, they will carry that lesson throughout their careers.

The OCBA remains a place where civility still thrives in our committees, at our luncheons and in the simple camaraderie of a local bar that knows each other by name. Let us protect that culture. The more we invest in fellowship outside the courtroom, the more trust we will build inside it. Participation in bar events, mentorship programs and volunteer projects strengthens our community and protects us against the isolation and hostility that can breed discourtesy.

This article was originally published in the November 2025 Oklahoma County Bar Association Briefcase (Vol. 58, No. 11). Reprinted with permission.

Mr. Blasdel practices in Edmond. He serves as the 2025-2026 OCBA president.