A Friend in Need
By Wenona R. Barnes

• Know that full-blown post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is relatively rare. Even among those who were involved or injured in the World Trade Center on 9/11, only about one-quarter later suffered from PTSD.
• Don’t force people to talk if they don’t want to. It’s natural to process a traumatic experience in short stints; in between, they may seek out friends and family in order to escape thinking about it.
• Support people in their efforts to cope with strong feelings, and don’t be surprised if they say some strange things. “You have to meet people in territory in which they are exploring a new way of understanding life,” explains Rick Tedeschi, (grief expert for Psychology Today).
• Don’t urge your friend to move on — instead, help him/her tolerate their emotions. Distress can be a catalyst for change, and processing pain may be essential to deriving meaning from a life-shattering experience. Don’t shut it down. Help them manage it so they can think straight without going numb.
• Understand that although there are many stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), there is no certain order or time frame, and many of us repeat certain steps numerous times.
• Give your friend or relative a lot of time to recover, and help him or her maintain hope that things will eventually get better.
• Encourage your friend or relative to seek help if he or she is struggling. There are many community resources available.

Don’t forget that OBA has set up a program with Lifefocus Counseling that offers free crisis counseling to OBA members…call (405) 840-5252 or toll free (866) 726-5252 anytime to find out more about this member service. We’re here to help when you need it. We are here to help a friend in need.