Everything I Need To Know About Practicing Law
I Learned From My Mom

By Jim Calloway
Director, OBA Management Assistance Program

Well, I have to admit that the title of this article is a bit of an overstatement. Mom really didn't teach me everything I needed to know about practicing law. She's never really been up to speed on the rules of evidence, and she's really weak on the Rule Against Perpetuities. (I am too, for that matter.)

But, the rules many of us learned or should have learned, at mother's knee are actually quite useful in the practice of law. Let's examine a few of these old-fashioned rules as they apply to the interview with the potential new client. After all, interviewing the potential new client is an important aspect of law practice for almost every lawyer.

You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression

Mom is obviously right about this one. But it is still easy to forget in a busy week, especially if you have four or five intake interviews in the same day.

When you get back to your office Monday, the very first thing we want you to do is look at your office building, your reception area and your office. What messages do these rooms send? Professional or second rate? When someone first walks inside the reception area, what first impression do they get? Busy is fine. Chaotic is not!

Are there coffee stains on the carpet? Is the furniture appropriate and comfortable? Are client files in view of the reception area so that a curious visitor to your office could read the transmittal letter on top of Sandra Smith's divorce file? Is there a warm greeting to those who enter from the receptionist? Does the receptionist communicate when the lawyer will be available? Are they invited to sit down and offered coffee or a soda?

Does this look like a place that you would trust if your life depended on it? For most clients, especially those coming into a lawyer's office for the first time, this may involve the most important things in the client's life. Being sued, getting divorced, getting arrested, injuries and death; these types of things are monumental.

Give the same once-over to your own office. Sit in the chairs that the clients use and note what you see. Is the desk overflowing with files and paper, causing the client to think "How could this lawyer ever keep track of anything?" Are other client's matters available for viewing during this interview? Do piles of client files give an appearance of inattention?

Maybe improving your practice starts with buying a new sofa for the reception area - one that is easy for the elderly clients to get up from when they wish. Maybe it is new carpet or a new file cabinet.

Looking in the mirror is the final step. Many of us hate that one. Do you regularly interview clients in wrinkled clothes? Or with a five o'clock shadow. Certainly, dress codes in the office have relaxed in many places, but the successful lawyer will have discussions with all of the employees about what is appropriate behavior and dress in front of clients.

Actions in front of clients or potential clients are clearly important. Everyone should strive to communicate integrity and professionalism. If you are a solo practitioner about to start an interview with a client and the helpful receptionist says with a wink and a smile, "I'm sorry, but he's out of the office now," then you can bet that this client will never ever believe that you are really out of the office when she calls. On the other hand, if the receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but he is just starting an interview with another client and cannot take your call right now," a truthful opinion is developed.

Make your first impressions good ones, whether with potential clients or anyone else. After all, anyone may be a potential client in the future.

Don't interrupt

We all know it's not polite to interrupt. We all hate to be interrupted.

So many times, our initial interview with a client is their first time meeting with an attorney as well. No matter how important the case is, the attorney starts out comfortably. The attorney is in his office, having yet another initial interview. The attorney has a good grasp of the applicable law and as the facts unfold, he starts to form opinions about the case. The client, on the other hand, is probably intensely uncomfortable. He wouldn't be in a lawyer's office if it were not a serious matter. He has probably already been told contradictory and incorrect things by friends and acquaintances. He may have spent considerable time thinking about what he is going to tell the lawyer and the questions he wants answered.

This is a moment where our legal training does not necessarily serve us all that well. We have been trained to separate the relevant from irrelevant. We learn to care about the important and discard the rest. From the first day of law school, we have been taught to read long opinions and summarize the relevant facts and holdings in a few short sentences. We cut it down to the essentials and discard the rest. And, then, we turn these finely honed skills on our clients, clearly with the best of intentions. But if we are not careful, the initial interview can turn out something like this.

CLIENT: "Well, I was driving down the road in Pryor....."

LAWYER:  (Interrupting) "What county is that?"

CLIENT:      "Ah....... Mayes County.....(pausing)"

LAWYER:  "Go on."

CLIENT:     "Well, I was driving down the road in Pryor and this semi-tractor pulled out in front of me."

LAWYER:  (Interrupting) "Did the semi have company markings?"

CLIENT:     (Puzzled) :Yes, it was a McDonalds semi.:

LAWYER: "McDonalds....like the hamburger chain??"

CLIENT:       "Yes."

LAWYER:  "Go on."

CLIENT:      "So I swung over to the other lane and missed the semi." (LAWYER sighs heavily.)

CLIENT:       "And, anyway, that's when the Missus and I decided we needed to update our wills."

Even worse than the above example is when the client becomes so flustered that he or she forgets to tell us some important information. A client may also get an impression that the attorney is rude or does not think what the client has to say is important. If the attorney does an overly intense job of cross examining the potential client, the client may decide to look elsewhere for legal services, without even really knowing why.

Try this technique on your next few initial client interviews. Introduce yourself to the client and explain any ground rules (such as a time limit) and then ask one simple open-ended question like "So why have you come to see me?" Then let the client talk while you focus your attention on them, nodding your head and encouraging them. Do not even take notes at first as that inhibits some people. Just let the potential client talk. Do not say a word unless you are asked a question until the client pauses for a full five or 10 seconds.

Right now you are thinking that with your clients, you will probably sit there listening for an hour, maybe more. We bet your client cannot carry on for five minutes, 10 minutes at the outside. We also bet that when they leave your office, whether you take their case or not that they think you are one of the nicest people they ever met. That may turn into future referrals or it may not. Whether you are interested in representing them on this particular matter or not, you will have one person out there who has a positive view of you. And, it will be all because you let them talk a few minutes without interruption.

We understand that there are some clients that you cannot let drone on forever. You can usually spot them fairly soon when you ask them to tell you about the car wreck they were in last week and they start by describing how they purchased the car four years ago. But even with those people letting them wear themselves out for five or six minutes is a good way to get started.

Be a Good Listener

There's more to listening than not interrupting. We might think that because we do so much listening every day that we do a good job of listening. Nothing could be further from the truth. Several books have been written about improving listening skills. There's a lot more to listening than just hearing.

Sometimes it seems that some people feel that listening is just waiting for the other person to pause so that you can talk again. Listening critically but objectively to opposing counsel's argument is an important part of your efforts to represent your clients.

Luckily, most successful lawyers are already good listeners. That is not a coincidence. Trial lawyers have to learn listening skills to survive. Most of us hopefully do a reasonable job of listening. But there is certainly room for improvement for most of us. (If you don't believe this, just ask your spouse.)

There are many barriers to effective listening. Removing distractions helps improve listening. Many lawyers already tell their staff to hold calls when they are meeting with clients. Some people may demonstrate prejudiced attitudes or other inappropriate or offensive behavior. The wise lawyer will overcome her own reactions to these factors or will determine that representing this client is not in the lawyer's or client's best interests. Mirroring is another effective technique. At its simplest level, you rephrase and repeat back to the client what you think they said. This helps increase clarity and understanding.

Anyone can improve their listening skills if they just try to pay attention to doing a better job of listening.

Be Polite

Mom was always big on that one. So is 1999 OBA President Douglas "Dougal" Sanders. Being polite all of the time to everyone is a great goal. We recognize we will all have moments when we don't feel well and are not at our best and there are even rare occasions when certain people just will not allow you to be polite to them.

But as a general rule, being calm and polite to everyone that you come in contact with will be its own reward. You will feel better about yourself. You will get more cooperation from others. Studies show that you will even live longer if you have a positive attitude.

When the opposing counsel snarls at you, smile and be polite. This is especially true if you are in front of a judge. Judges are only human. It cannot hurt your case if the judge thinks you are a nice, polite person and the other counsel is a jerk.

Professional courtesy should be more than calling up to ask for extensions of deadlines. It should be a way of life.

Professionalism is a word that we hear a lot lately because there are so many problems in that area it seems. Hopefully you are going to be practicing law a long time. Do you really want to spend all of those years in unpleasant exchange after unpleasant exchange? Be polite. This is one practice management and marketing tool that costs you absolutely nothing.

Always tell the truth

Moms all across the country will tell their children this rule several thousand times today.

For the practicing lawyer, there is nothing more important than your reputation in the community for honesty and integrity. Absolutely nothing. There will always be temptations to misrepresent things. Once you compromise your personal integrity, what do you have left? There will never be any time when your obligations as a lawyer require you to lie.

You might want to take an opportunity to re-read Rule 3.3. of the Oklahoma Rules of Professional Conduct which deals with "Candor Toward The Tribunal." The duty of being truthful to the court even supercedes the duty of client confidentiality in many circumstances.

This is one where we all miss the mark and should try to improve. There are no perfect people walking the earth now, including lawyers.

I doubt we will be judged too harshly for the occasional lack of candor when a spouse asks what you think of a new hairstyle or outfit. In our personal lives we may be forgiven if we do not always come forward with "the whole truth" when our intentions are good.

In our professional lives, honesty is not only the best policy, it is the only policy.

Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well

I'm not sure what I can add to this sage bit of motherly advice. I suspect that it did not originate with Mom. But with all of the time pressures of society today, it is something well worth repeating.

This has not been a typical article that might appear in a lawyer's publication. But that doesn't mean that the subject matter is not very important. Thanks, Mom, not just for teaching me the rules about being a good lawyer, but also for the rules about living a good life.

Originally published in the Oklahoma Bar Journal November 20, 1999 - Vol. 70; No. 42